Tag Archives: postmenopausal

The Great Pause of Menopause

sex

by Oceana LaBlanc

Many of us who are in menopause now were mothered by women who didn’t talk about or understand it, and were often at the effect of a masculine paradigm and medical system. Most were not wild women, who questioned authority or celebrating their menses.

I was especially clueless. It started with peri-menopause, which I hadn’t even heard of before. I just knew I needed help because suddenly my emotions were riding a tornado without a seat belt. In fact, I almost hospitalized myself, mistaking it for bipolar. Look up the symptoms of both side by side. Identical, uncanny, and misunderstood.

Luckily, a sister shared her journey and discoveries with me. She shared nutritional tips and much information I had never heard. This was my entry into learning, and I was vested with ways to cope, wisdom to carry me through, and knowledge that what I was experiencing was perfectly normal.

Peri-menopause can be a ten year journey with changing symptomology. As wise women, we can dive deeper into the layers of energetics sourcing the symptoms, read the signs, utilize all manner of feminine alchemy to shape shift and shine. We have choices, herbs, holistic awareness, abdominal massage, shamanic support, and the allopathic medical system to choose from.

We might face:

  • grieving the end of fertility
  • loss of libido
  • body is changing dramatically
  • night sweats
  • anxiety attacks
  • sleeplessness
  • moontime totally off schedule
  • extreme uncertainty
  • grieving unmet life desires, lost opportunities
  • loss of energy for what used to come easily

Menopause leaves no patience or tolerance for wasted time or energy. A friend said to me she couldn’t understand why she was so short with everyone lately. The mention of menopause was a complete surprise and relief. We really aren’t taught what to expect!

The fragility of it is stunning. We forget the simplest things and our younger sisters cannot fathom what seems like an intended slight. The truth is we have no recollection.

As a sex educator, it’s difficult to find oneself utterly shut down and going within. But this is what one does and it’s important work, much like labor in birthing.

Many women just don’t want sex and are afraid they never will again. The good news is that menopause is a Great Pause. There are ways to encourage libido, stay juicy, continue to glow. Orgasms are pretty much the best remedy and proactive nutrition, as they keep us expanded in pleasure, keep the blood flowing, reduce stress, encourage circulation, and activate the life force energy. Orgasms keep us glowing. One a day, just like the multivitamin.

Sexuality is alive and well throughout our lifetimes, regardless of what mass media would have us believe. Once you have passed the gateway of menopause, you can let go of the idealized version of sex appeal and welcome a confident, deliciously vulnerable, grace-filled queen who is comfortable in her skin. She exudes warm, calm acceptance and her wisdom is seductively attractive. A Crone is a Confident, Radiant, Orgasmic, Natural Empress.

barAre you longing to deepen your femininity, 

show up in your own blend of Goddess Confidence

and ooze your sensuality inside and out?

 

Oceana Lablanc will nurture you into the sexy, beautiful,

powerful woman you are ready to step into. 

are-you-ready

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About the Author

Oceana Lablanc

Oceana Lablanc

Oceana Leblanc is a healer, tantric yogini, medium, shaman, and empowerment facilitator. A dynamic facilitator and writer gifted with wisdom, compassion, humor, and keen intuition, she holds frequent workshops and retreats.

She’s led acclaimed trainings at venues such as the Women’s Belly and Womb Conference, Daughters of the Earth Conference, Zestfest, University of Massachusetts Medical School, and Earthcircle Gathering. She is one of the original pioneers building a uniquely grassroots community that supports women’s empowerment globally.

Goddess Oceana defines her mission as being a catalyst for unconditional love and the integration of balance in feminine and masculine energies on the planet in our times. She is passionate about helping people express their highest potential.

Currently she is writing her first book, which is a compilation of her online quotes that have been inspiring readers for years. When she’s not travelling and teaching, her most rewarding time is spent with her gorgeous 13 year old son and beloved husband of 21 years.

“Oceana is one of the most dynamic presenters I have known. She comes from her heart, her passion, and her wisdom. A unique fantastic blend that all will benefit from.” ~Char Tosi, founder of Woman Within

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Filed under Guest Blogger, Menopause, sex

A Snap, then a Cackle and a Pop!

By Sharon Nesbit-Davis

I celebrated my fifth decade by performing a one-woman show entitled “Mime in Mental Pause.” I wasn’t there yet. But I was ready. Unrelenting pain, blood clots, and ruined panties were not fun, no matter how I adjusted my attitude. Sometimes the universe hears and is kind. Soon after my 50th birthday my periods diminished with barely a moan. I think it was the soy.

I do not regret being past child bearing age. I’m content to view it from afar…or close up when my daughter pops the babies out. I thought it would bother me to see her in pain, but it doesn’t. I might be slightly sadistic. Or just gloriously happy to have grandchildren. But not once did I wish to trade places.

With the perspective of a few years free of “Auntie Flow” there is something I miss. I miss the power of “PMS” (Pre Menstrual Sinfulness) I did not need to announce I had it. My husband was on the watch for it. There were times I cried easy and long and hard. When asked what was wrong my tongue jumped out and slapped him upside the head. Never mind what happened when he didn’t ask.

After I said we would all be dead in three days because I detected a shift in the earth’s orbit, so we didn’t need to renew the life insurance policy, my husband asked if my period was coming. I chastised his sexist remark and he apologized. Two days later I hid the tampon dispensers at the bottom of the trash. He caught me with a heating pad under the blanket. He’s a good man and never said “I told you so”, but he isn’t perfect. He smiled too much.

A couple years ago my daughter-in-law invited me to a women’s gathering. I was the only post menopausal woman there. The topic was our periods. We shared how we learned about it, our first one and embarrassing moments. The stories were funny and sad and what I expected until a young woman said she loved her periods. Really. Just loved them. She felt a oneness with all women. She meditated on this life giving essence and was thankful for her role. She felt creative and spirit filled during this time. She did not mask the pain. She welcomed it. Other women nodded. I laughed. A lot. Then told my stories of fainting and trips to emergency rooms and my gratitude to be done with them. They politely listened and exchanged glances I recognized from my youth, when I respected elders but knew they didn’t understand. And never would.

They were wrong. I do understand. What this woman expressed is the way it once was. Thinking about it almost made me want a “do over”, but only if I could have my own moon lodge.

In Native American tradition there was a special lodge for women when it was their moon time. Other women cared for their children and cooked for their husbands. They brought her favorite food, then circled the lodge and prayed for her. She was free from work, could rest, talk with the spirits and create. She returned with new songs and geometric designs and renewed energy. Western observers surmise the women were involuntarily isolated and considered unclean. It was never that. When asked the medicine men explain women have a “built in” purification process. Men put themselves through sacred ceremonies to attain what women have naturally. Women in their moon cycles do not participate in sacred ceremonies. Their power is too strong. It’s been known to send spirits running and crashing into things.

Without periods my life is balanced and calm. Maybe a little too calm. I miss not knowing what thoughts may scream their way past polite filters. Sometimes the power of that made me feel beautiful. I knew I wasn’t. I had mirrors. When pimples erupt on a middle aged face you don’t claim outer beauty. But there were moments I felt like a warrior woman. And she was magnificent. I wish I had honored her more, instead of reaching for the Pamprin®.

Of course there is still time. My warrior woman didn’t die with PMS. She morphed into Big Fat Mama: Post Menopausal Juicy Crone. No one knows what that means, but with a perfectly executed head snap, and a cackle then a pop from any number of bodily regions, it’s scary enough to have some fun.

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Filed under Menopause, menstruation, PMS, Post Menopausal, Sharon Nesbit-Davis, story