Tag Archives: healing anger

Angry Women

by Karen Ribeiro

Kofi Annan, the former United Nations Director General, said, “The future of this planet depends on women.”

I experienced the power of this statement at one of Ginny Robertson’s recent On Purpose Woman conferences in Maryland, when dozens of presenters set the stage for real transformation.

It began with Maq Ele of G-String Living, a woman who stood 6’4″ in her sparkling silver shoes with a magic story to go with them. Maq was able to inspire us through her bold spirit and the acknowledgement that “it’s just me and God in the room here.” When you have just been told you are God, it becomes much easier to see the negative stuff inside that needs love and healing.

Maq had put an envelope under our chairs with “negative” phrases we embody like Limited Thinking, Acting Small and Victim Consciousness. My envelope had this last phrase and I wanted to say, “Oh, I’m so done with victim consciousness.” Yet I stood up to “take one for the team,” as many later described my action.

What I had shared from my wide open electrified heart was the desire for more open-hearted family communication. I admitted to not being my best self in the midst of all the fast-paced half-listening at home and wanted to sustain what we all felt right then, in that safe space, in my own home.

It is easy to get inspired at most well organized conferences. But this one held a unique surprise for me. I got angry in a session called Embracing the “Other,” led by Vaile Leonard and Ginny Robertson, and I think that was the plan. There are so many things that pit one person against another! The question of “When did it become okay to call each other a bitch?” led to a rich discussion about divisive television programming and ridiculously intense (yet often very subtle) competition for the best fashion, the best guy, the best job, the best everything.

What does all this competition do to women? It makes us suspicious, distrustful, envious, negative and down on ourselves.

I was feeling this strong collective anger and noticed that we only had 5 minutes left of the session and raised my hand to ask if there would be time for me to lead us in a song. I learned that we had two closing exercises that should transform the anger and that I could also sing the song at the end. In the meantime, women began to share experiences of isolation, how it felt to not be supported and not be able to ask for support. Something was shifting….

In the first closing exercise we read a Forgiveness Pledge:

2012-12-13-pledgetomysisters.jpgIt was so powerful I could feel the connection between us electrify as we echoed phrase after phrase. It helped tremendously. And then we did the second closing exercise, which brought half of us to tears-tears of anger transformed into hope.

Our facilitators had instructed one woman in the front row on the far right of the room to look in the eyes of the woman to her left and simply say “I see you” (a traditional greeting in certain African cultures) and have each woman repeat this to her neighbor row after row around the room and then back in the opposite direction. After a few women followed instruction, it became automatic, intuitive and perfectly natural for both women looking into each other’s eyes to say “I see you” to each other, making the second half of this exercise unnecessary.

I was uplifted and content, yet I’d asked to lead the group in song… so I did! Many joined me in a song called “Dear Friends.” One woman was so impressed she later told me she would share the video she had recorded with her family and teach them to sing it together.

The lyrics are simple:

Dear friends, dear friends
Let me tell you how I feel
You have given me such treasures
I love you so

It is possible and downright urgent to actively transform the isolation and divisive competition of this world that has plagued us since industrialization. In the safe space of a conference, it is easy; back in our day to day routines, not so much.

After the conference ended a large group of women went out to dinner. We were hungry and struggling with odd restaurant rules, so we began complaining amongst ourselves. This behavior seemed just a bit out of place given our day of joy and renewed perspective. But what to do when your circumstances (many hungry women) do not improve (unable to even order salads until the rest of our party arrived) despite logical action? This situation was no big deal in the scheme of things. After an hour a few baskets of bread were delivered and we moved blissfully into happier conversations.

But what about the big deal circumstances that piqued our anger earlier that day?

As I drove home the next day, noticing anger directed at a driver who cut me off and ugly language yelled at another driver going 20 mph below the speed limit in the fast lane, I remembered the “I see you” exercise and thought, “I can see myself getting engrossed in an audiobook or thought and driving quite a bit slower than the flow of traffic”, and “I can certainly be in a difficult situation needing to drive just a bit less polite than I might like.”

Even though road rage wouldn’t naturally be considered a Big Deal Anger circumstance, it is these day-to-day minor triggers that generally go undetected. Road rage or other seemingly minor irritations that we consciously or unconsciously try to ignore sure do add up! Instead of walking around like a ticking time bomb, I want to live in the same blissful connectedness of being seen that I felt in that simple “I see you” exercise. Living this way begins by recognizing that we ALL want to live this way. And it begins by stopping the blame.

How powerful would we be if we all stopped the blame?

I can remind myself not to blame drivers on the road for behaving a little differently than I might at that moment. I’m not sure yet that I have the capacity to not blame media producers for making corrosive “reality” TV shows, but I can be a better listener at home and I can keep looking for ways to SEE (and listen to) others instead of blaming. And guess what? This Stop Look and Listen behavior neutralizes anger.

In addition to signing the Pledge to My Sisters, I pledge to listen better to my family members and stop blaming them for communication struggles. Neutralizing and transforming my own anger towards others dramatically increases my capacity to love them. That’s powerful!

How are you transforming your anger?

This post first appeared on InnerFortune.com and the Huffinton Post. Reproduced with permission from the author.

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Space to Heal : a view of the ‘Angry Women Energies’

by Hollie B.

A few years ago my good friend Christiana Rose alerted me to an energy that she felt I needed to be aware of.  She had met with it in her own healing, and felt compelled to let me know, since I work so often with Women in Deep Space.

I have since got to Know these energies. In fact, I knew them long before, but I had never defined it in such a clear way. Now I call them the’Angry Women Energies’, and I will try to explain it to You.

Women's Circle : Space to Heal : Lunation

If You are familiar with Collective Consciousness, this will be an easy concept to grasp. Basically, (in really simple version) when enough People hold the Space of the same sort of thinking, Change or manifestation can occur. The collective thought is an energy. Energy magnetises – collects – together the same energies and creates itself stronger and stronger.

The ‘Angry Women Energies’ is a collective consciousness (Yes I said ‘is’) of Pain and Grief and Fear and Anger that has been created and strengthened over the many years of Women’s suffering. We can align it with patriarchal rule, sexual abuse, inequality – whichever. All of these things, when Women carrying these energies leave the Earth Walk and their energy shifts from the physical body, their anger finds the collective energy and adds to it. So You can imagine, with all of the injustice for generations and generations, that the collective ‘Angry Women Energies’ are quite strong.

But the energies themselves, floating around in Cosmic Space are not a problem – until they find something to attach to. You See, there are all types of energies out there. This is why it’s so important to hold the Space for thoughts of Peace and Love and Trust everyday. Because when we think happy thoughts, we attract happy energy yeah?

But when we think angry, victim, destructive thoughts, that energy will come to us. And for Women in pain from the suffering life has gifted them, the Angry Women Energies are standing, waiting in the wings, to connect, straight away. And so the energies use angry, grieving, Women with a victim-consciousness to attach to – the Women become Agents for that energy. And that way, the energies are able to live on through this generation.

Okay, so that’s a simplified, slightly all over the place version of how I understand the Angry Women Energies. I meet them often in my Work. I’m sure You will have had the experience of meeting a Woman who carries this energy. (They also prowl around the ethers, looking for groups of Women who carry the energy to attach to because as a group they are even stronger) She will be snide, manipulative and deceptive. She will use her stories of Women’s victimisation and struggles to prove her point, that men cannot be trusted and Women must rally together. She could be old or young, she appears in every Race and economic status. She uses masks and costumes to hide the pain and broken pieces of Self behind the barriers. She believes People See her as strong and unbeatable – but we all See her vulnerability and insecurity. She is racked with Fear.

And once the ‘Angry Women Energies’ attach themselves to her, She will not know how to break free. It becomes the only way she knows. It is normal for her. She will carry this energy, building it, magnetising other Agents of the Energies to her. And together they thrive.

Space to Heal : Women's Space : Lunation

Unless…

Unless, we make the choice to disallow their Anger. Unless we make the choice to feel it, acknowledge it, forgive it, and let it go. In this there must be a choice to think happy thoughts again. To think healing, loving thoughts. To find ways to express our Love. And to find ways to experience Love.

To forgive means to for- give : to give something over to the Great Mystery. To trust the Great Mystery to take the Pain and suffering and trust the Great Mystery to create something new and healed and Peace-full from it. The Great Mystery has that Power. It is all things. Call it Goddess, God, Universal Truth. It is Ultimate Power. It is Real.

Healing and Forgiving can be done. We must first See the Truth of our situation. And then we make the choice. Once You break free from the Angry Women Energies, they don’t get to return. We burst the bubble. We send the energy on its Way, declaring that they are not Welcome here anymore. They are no more in our Space. And we may use our Space to Heal.

About the Author:

Hollie B. is a Witch, Indigo Mama and Awesome Wife. She is a facilitator of Women’s Space with a focus on Being, rather than Doing. Her Work is Being the True Self, in order to Create the Sacred everyday, in simple Ways, in every area of Life.

At Lunation, Hollie offers the Clan Mother Journey Experience, an e’course for connecting to your own Truth, as a Cosmic Woman. She also facilitates Red Tent Experience in Canberra, Australia, and offers a variety of other courses and products. Find out more about Hollie B. and her Work at lunation.com.au.

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