Category Archives: growing up

The Year of Yes

Q&A Interview with Tracee Sioux

Where were you before your Year of YES!?
Before Year of YES! I had just gotten a divorce and was making $600 a month, feeding my kids from the food bank. I had been a stay-at-home-mom for 12 years, having tanked my journalism career in favor of motherhood. I had kept my foot wedged in the door of my profession by taking craptastic piece writing work for the privilege of calling myself a journalist. It’s the story of hundreds of thousands of other women in this country. I found that no one really wants to hire you after you leave the workforce in favor of motherhood.

What made you want to say YES! to your Soul?
I had a moment, washing dishes after the divorce in a terrifying personal financial crisis and I felt a deep peace within my Soul. She had gotten what she wanted. She was no longer in constant conflict with my wasband. She came here with a purpose—to use her gift of writing to help others—but, he was never supportive of that, constantly telling her to quit and go get a job. Finally, she had gotten what she wanted. I realized, if my Soul gets what she wants, I get to have this incredible peace. If she doesn’t I have this horrible feeling of being conflicted.

What if my soul got everything she wanted? What would my life look like? Where would I be?

I committed. How do you feel about the word NO? I love that word. I think a Power NO is saying YES! to your Soul. Everyone is trying to be the boss of everyone else all the time. Your family, your husband, your kids, your parents, your church, your friends, the PTA, your kid’s teacher, our boss, your coworkers, your neighbors—everyone has an opinon about what you should be doing with your life. Saying YES! to your Soul is saying NO! to everyone else’s agenda for your life.

Why aren’t people already living their Soul’s Purpose?
If you weren’t afraid of your Soul’s Purpose you’d already be living it. Our Souls often ask us to do things that defy convention and interfere with other people’s agendas for our lives. It’s scary to go against what other people believe you should be doing. My Soul asked me to take risks—big risks—emotional, financial, social and sexual—risks during my Year of YES! Much of it didn’t make sense to me. It was a total act of faith. I leapt off a lot of cliffs. Many people don’t approve of what my Soul leads me to do. There’s a loss in that. But, it’s worth it for the feeling of internal peace.

How do you know when it’s your Soul and not something else?
Excellent question. And it’s the one I get asked most often. So many outside voices live inside our heads—vying for mindshare, demanding to be the boss of us. I have several methods for being able to tell what’s the Soul and what’s the Ego or other Outside voices. There’s a Soul v. Ego Smackdown eCourse on my website for free that will walk you through a three-step process. First you have to silence the outside voices. Then you have to invite the Soul to speak. Then you have to choose. The Soul is kind and sweet and gentle. Even if it’s asking you to do something you’re afraid of—and it often will—it will feel peaceful and loving when it asks. The Ego is mean and sometimes even cruel. It has three main lies to get you to obey it: you don’t have enough time, you don’t have enough money and you’re not good enough. It often calls names, gets angry and threatens things like judgment, poverty and shame. The Ego makes a lot of very good and rational points. The Soul simply wants you to follow your desires.

You try alternative methods to sexuality and healing from sexual trauma in the book. Can you talk more about that?
Yes. Like many, many women I have sexual trauma in my past. Traditional therapy participates in what I call Pain Soaking, you talk about your pain, but it never heals. With religion you talk about your pain and celibacy is the only option for sexual healing. Neither provides a positive sexual experience to replace the negative sexual experience. It just leaves a void for the demons to creep back into. I really needed practice to experience staying in my body during sexual contact. I needed to experience my own sexuality without worrying about the other person’s sexuality.

 

You talk about men in this book. Where they’re at and what’s going on with them. Can you talk about that?
I’ve had lots of trauma caused by men in my past. I needed to heal that. We have this new phenomenon with gender roles being flip flopped and men feel sad, impotent in the world. Women are feeling stressed out from doing everything. I wish more men were on the spiritual path. I’d like to see them get in the game. I miss men. My Year of YES! put some phenomenal men in my life and I really, really needed to see that they existed.

You talk about addiction and quitting drinking in the book.

After 9/11 I suffered severe post partum depression—I was 8 months pregnant when I witnessed the second tower being hit. I couldn’t get my physiological terror response to turn off afterward. I was in a state of anxiety that left me debilitated and unable to function. Doctors prescribed more and more Xanax, a dentist prescribed more and more codeine. Eventually I ended up in rehab to avoid seizures from withdrawal. I continued to drink alcohol, but the year before the book was written I had gotten some pretty serious warning signs from my Soul to stop drinking or pay a very high price. Whether it’s a gene or a spiritual demon passed down for generations—It’s a serious problem for me and my family. I’ve always been in relationships with addicts and I’ve fought my own demons. I only drank once during my Year of YES! and it was a terrible experience of separation from God.

You did past life regression in your Year of YES! Why? What was that like?
It’s funny because at the beginning of the book I kind of make fun of past life beliefs. Yet, I was facing turmoil over a relationship that I couldn’t understand. I just couldn’t understand why I felt the way I did. My Soul kept telling me to contact this past life regressionist that I had met at a conference. So I said YES! I had three regression experiences that literally left me changed. During one I felt a love very deep and pure, during another I was pleasure drenched in the love between Mary Magdalene and Jesus Christ, and in another I threw a gold clutch from the spirit realm to this realm and was gifted a company logo. Each experience was quite transformative for my Year of YES! There are many dimensions in the Kingdom of Heaven.

You pray to many gods and deities in this book. Why?
I pray to one god of many names and interpretations and traditions. I find common ground in various religious traditions and wisdom among all belief systems. I draw from whichever one brings me the most strength, healing, wholeness, power and beliefs.

You’ve done some pretty seriously wrong things, to friends and family. Why would you tell everyone about them?
I’m flawed. My mistakes aren’t grounded in maliciousness. They were grounded in confusion about who I am and mistakes I have made. Most of them were motivated by love. Love is a many faceted thing and a great many of us are doing it very badly. But we’re doing it.

The Year of Yes Book Synopsis

In 2012 Tracee found herself feeding her kids from the food bank following her divorce. She was doing everything “they” told her to do with her fledgling writing business—she had the national media attention and the Thank You notes to prove it—but she was only making $600 a month. She was “awesome,” everyone said so. She had “awesomed” her way to the food bank. Her life was completely transformed when she decided to follow her Soul’s voice in her business and her life. She ended her Year of YES! filing taxes for $65,000, within 18 months she had cleared the six-figure mark. During the year she built a scalable foundation for her business, created a Spiritual Travel Column, created an amazing support system of positive people, lost three pants sizes and freed herself from the guilt and shame of her past.

She now teaches people how to say YES! to their own Soul’s Song. Every person came here with a Purpose and Tracee loves to help people discover what that Purpose is and turn it into a profitable business and an intentional life. When you align with your Soul’s Purpose the Universe rolls out the red carpet for you—of course, it’s a flying carpet and you have to leap off the cliff to get to it—Tracee helps you gain the audacity to leap.

The Year of YES! Memoir, what if you said YES! to everything your Soul told you to do? Where would your life take you? What would you be doing? This is a memoir of my own Year of YES! It’s a spiritual awakening, a raw, unflinching reckoning with my jagged past, a transmutation of self and an exploration of sexuality—the sacred (and not so sacred)—a journey of healing and a slaying of demons. Ultimately, it’s a look at where I’ve been and choosing where I’m going.

About the Author

Tracee Sioux, Mastress of Manifestation, is author, coach, radio host and creator of The Year of YES! It’s the year you say YES! to everything your Soul tells you to do. Her Soul’s Purpose is to help others develop the audacity to say YES! to their own Soul’s purpose. Her work has been featured in New York Times Magazine, Forbes.com and Today.com.

Sioux led The Girl Revolution, a movement to empower girls in the face of today’s marketing and media messaging. She is the author of Love Distortion: Belle, Battered Codependent and Other Love Stories. Read a free sample chapter of The Year of YES! at http://www.traceesioux.com

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Filed under ageing, beauty, career, coming of age, daughter, growing up, Guest Blogger, healing, Momprenuers, mother, motherhood, parenting, tracee sioux

Herbs for Your Reproductive Tract

by Paula Youmell, RN

Herbs are amazing, healing tools because herbs are whole foods.  Whole foods nourish each and every cell in your body. 

Whole food eating means feeding our bodies the way nature intended.  This means eating foods in their natural state, as close to the perfectly “whole” state in which nature provides them.  This also means following the natural growing seasons and eating more foods that are locally grown and produced, in season. Whole food nutrition is eating in balance, which in turn keeps the body in balance.  Foods grown naturally develop with the right proportion of carbohydrates, proteins, and fats intended for that particular food.  They contain balanced vitamins, minerals, phyto-nutrients, and enzymes. This natural balance for each food ensures that the body can properly utilize the nutrients. 

The effects of moving away from our whole food diet and eating a refined, processed, and convenience food diet are very prevalent in our society.  (Ask me for my educational handout titled Whole Food Eating for an easy introduction to healing body cells with whole food nutrition, pyoumell@gmail.com)

One of the biggest tragedies of human civilization is the precedents of chemical therapy over nutrition.  It is substitution of artificial therapy over natural, of poison over food, in which we are feeding people poisons trying to correct the reactions of starvation.    Dr. Royal Lee

As a culture, we have created the same scenario with our healing medicines, including those for healing the female body.  We have moved away from whole, natural medicines to the processed, refined, factory made pharmaceuticals that upset balance in the human body.  Just as refined, factory made food products upset the body’s natural balance.

Herbs, whether ingested as a medicinal infusion, taken as a tincture or in any other form of herbal medicine, are whole foods.  The nutrients in the herbs: vitamins, minerals, phyto-nutrients, and the nutrients yet to be discovered, are utilized by the body cells to cleanse, nourish, and heal each and every body cell.  Herbs specific for the female reproductive tract are nourishing to the reproductive organ’s cells.

So often we get the message from main stream media and medicine:  Do NOT use herbs as they are potentially dangerous.  This is as crazy as saying that eating beets, apples, or any other natural, whole food is potentially dangerous.

When we eat a beet, an apple, some broccoli, or any whole food, our body digests and absorbs the nutrients in the whole food to nourish our cellular health.  The same process of digestion and assimilation of nutrients happens with herbs.  Herbs are whole food; herbs are healing medicine.

Herbs are plants (leaf, root, stems, bark, berries, seeds), like a beet or an apple, that have nutritional and healing properties with affinities for certain tissues.

Stinging-Nettle-Image

Herbs for female health are many and each has its own healing purpose.  Used in combination, they create powerful healing energy in the female body.

Some excellent female healing herbs are:

  • Stinging nettles
  • Red raspberry leaf
  • Wild yam
  • Chaste tree berry
  • Motherwort
  • Red clover flower
  • False unicorn root
  • Passion flower
  • Don quai root
  • Wild carrot
  • Ginger
  • Blue and Black cohosh
  • Squaw vine
  • Black haw
  • Yarrow
  • Pennyroyal
  • Mugwort
  • Partridge vine

These herbs balance female hormones, tone and heal the female organs, and add nutrients to every cell in your body.

A simple healing tea I used to make for my roommate, many years ago before I had become a certified herbalist, to ease her menstrual cramps:  chamomile tea with 30 drops of black or blue cohosh tincture.  When she moved into her own apartment, just up the street, she would call me every month and ask me to bring her a jar of this cramp relief tea.

For specifics on which herbs to use for your personal needs, contact an herbalist in your area.  In the Potsdam, NY area?  Give me a shout.

Herbs for healing other organs: (Just to remind you how amazing herbs really are!)

  • Saw palmetto for the prostate
  • Hawthorne berry for the heart
  • Rhubarb root for the colon
  • Milk thistle for the liver
  • Nettle as a general nutritive herb (Yes, I truly love nettles!)
  • Dandelion and burdock root for liver cleansing and nourishment

The list of herbs and the cells / organs they nourish goes on and on.  These are just a very few example of herbs and the cells / organ they have affinities to nourish and promote healing. This healing action happens because the herb adds whole food nutrition to your body cells.  This is the same thing a beet does; feeds your body cells.

Stinging nettles are my favorite herb!  Nettles are a power house of nutrition and healing energy for the whole body.  I add nettles to every combination herbal formula I create. Use nettles in your female healing remedies!

With that said, I recommend you read up on the herb you want to ingest for its nourishing, medicinal abilities.  Learn about the herb and its healing affinities before you make the decision to take it.  Contact your local herbalist for help in choosing the right herb or blend of herbs to add to your whole food dietary plan to promote personal health and healing.

Words from a happy client that demonstrates my point about herbs and whole body healing; that body cells are nourished by ingesting herbs:

Thanks Paula! The herbs you recommended for my peri-menopausal symptoms have really helped! No more migraines, moodiness, or horrible night sweats. After years of challenging health symptoms, I am very happy to be healing with whole foods, including female healing herbs.  Sherry B.

Herbs are whole foods.  Use them wisely for healing your female energy and whole body healing.  Blessings of health, Paula

Red clover flower and Red raspberry leave, combined with my favorite herb: Stinging nettles, are the three herbs I recommend for a fertility infusion to drink daily.

Paula Youmell is an RN, author, holistic healer, and blogger who thrives in northern NY State, USA.  Learn more about her healing lifestyle at www.HandsOnHealthHH.com, http://www.wholefoodhealer.com, or http://www.wisewomenredtent.com

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Filed under and Hormone Cycle, blood, growing up, healing, Infertility, Menopause, menstruation, miscarriage, mooncycle, motherhood, PMS, Reproductive Health, sex

My Mother Told Me…

What messages did your mother give you about being a Woman?
What messages are you offering your daughter about being a Woman?
What legacy would you like to pass-on Today’s Girls?

Help me celebrate Mother’s Day! Join us in the virtual “Red Tent” for a special episode of Red Tent TV featuring a provocative conversation with Dr. Isadora & her mother (Teresa Moorehouse) as they give you their answers to the questions above.


This video was originally created for the ‘Red Tents In Every Neighborhood’ 2nd Annual World Summit. The Global Summit’ drew more than 5,000 women from all over the world during February 2015, and featured speakers from the U.S.A, Spain, Germany, U.K, Italy, Ireland, Israel, New Zealand, and Australia. Participants from around the world felt transformed, inspired, and ready to start a Red Tent in their neighborhood – as a result of the summit!

After you’ve watched the episode, I’d love to know…How would you answer the above questions.

If you liked this video, subscribe to our channel & sign up for our free weekly episodes of Red Tent TV at http://www.redtent.tv/

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Filed under "things we don't talk about", coming of age, daughter, DeAnna L'am, From the filmmaker, grandmother, growing up, Isadora Gabrielle Leidenfrost, mother, motherhood, parenting, red tent, red tent film, red tent movie, Red Tent TV, Red Tents in Every Neighborhood

My First Blood Story

by Karen Tinner
I wish that I could say my first blood was an encouraging departure from how menstruation is treated in Western cultures, but sadly, it wasn’t. Rather, it embodied every negative association. I had just turned 11 years old less than a week before, and had never been informed about menstruation. Although I was well-read for an adolescent, I was not yet interested in anything to do with maturation, reproduction or sexuality and no one, either at home or in school, had shared any information with me. Further, although I knew of one or two girls who had “gotten their period,” they were 2-3 years older than me. When I started bleeding, I remember running to my mother and telling her that something was terribly wrong, that I was afraid I was dying. She simply scoffed at me, took me to the bathroom and showed me the sanitary napkins. Still shaken, I remember telling her that I was “too young to go through this,” that I “wasn’t ready,” and that I was “afraid.” All of this fell on deaf ears. There was only the inference that menstruation was a dirty, distasteful fact of a woman’s life, an inconvenient reality to be endured as tidily as possible. The home I grew up in consisted of my mother (born in 1946) and her parents, and as an isolated only child, there were no other women in whom I could confide my feelings. This theme of isolation would be carried over into all of my journey to adult womanhood. Matters of romantic love and sexuality were never addressed, and my isolation was greatly compounded due to my mother and grandmother’s activities in the pseudo-Christian cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses. My grandfather was an emotionally cool, somewhat dictatorial man who demanded respect but never communicated with me with any degree of warmth or positivity. My mother and grandmother lived up to his expectation that women be uncomplaining and subservient. And my father was absent, divorced from my mother due to alcoholism when I was two years of age. Needless to say, I grew up feeling as if being female was an unfortunate accident. In the years since, I have been caregiver to all of my family of origin, saying goodbye to all of them within a five year span (my mother succumbed to terminal cancer in 1997, my grandfather to terminal cancer in 1998 and my grandmother to autoimmune disease in 2002); was married; birthed a son and a daughter; was widowed; remarried; birthed a second daughter; and have returned to school to complete my undergraduate education, switching from English (and Philosophy and Women’s Studies) to Psychology with an eye to obtaining a Master’s in Counseling. All of these experiences have helped me to replace the ambivalence, misogyny and emotional vacancies of my upbringing with healthy, positive and empowered images and narratives. My awareness of and appreciation for the unique emotional, intellectual and physical capacities of women grows with each day, and I am happy to say that I have embraced my good fortune to have been born female! My older daughter has just turned 7 and my younger daughter is 2 1/2. Even before I conceived my older daughter, I resolved to ensure any daughter I might birth would have a very different experience in growing into her womanhood. Both my daughers will be well-prepared to celebrate their first blood. Even now, they are aware that being female is a gift. Further, my son, who is 9, is being raised to appreciate the contributions of women, not least of which is the fact that all man- (and woman-) kind comes into this world by way of a woman’s love and physiology. In part through my children — and also through the career I am preparing for — I hope to make a meaningful contribution in effecting positive change in the way women experience their rites of passage, view themselves and their life experiences, and in the way women and men value one another.

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How to Celebrate Menstruation

How would our world be different if girls were raised to honor their menstrual time? How would our world be different if our girls had some form of celebration when they first began to menstruate. How would your life be different if you were celebrated? Join us in the virtual “Red Tent” for today’s episode of Red Tent TV. After you’ve watched the episode, I’d love to know… How have you celebrated menstruation?

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Filed under ageing, and Hormone Cycle, blood, coming of age, From the filmmaker, growing up, Isadora Gabrielle Leidenfrost, menstruation, menstruation video, Mood, moon, Moon Lodge, mooncycle, parenting, PMS

Ways to honor your menstrual cycle in your Red Tent

by Jane Hardwicke Collings & Susan Stark

This article is an excerpt from the eBook “How to Create a Red Tent

Keeping a monthly record of your cycle is a great way to connect in and identify recurring patterns or themes. As you record your experiences of each day of your cycle you will begin to see a common pattern emerging. Various journals and charts are available to support you in your charting. See the resource section for further information. Each week of the cycle offers a different opportunity or flow of energy that you can utilize in your life’s journey.

"How to Create a Red Tent" eBook. Available for $9.99 at: http://www.redtentmovie.com/eBook-create-a-red-tent.html
Below are some suggestions of how to work with the different energy inherent in each week of your cycle. This list is by no mean exhaustive and we would encourage you to be creative and adventurous in honouring your own individual cycle. Part of the journey is finding your own unique expression of your cycle and ways to support your own needs. Sharing your ways of being with your cycle in circle with other women is a great way to gather new ideas and ways of honouring yourself and others.

Week One:

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It is often difficult to find time to rest and retreat from our busy lives. The demands of family life and work can feel like obstacles to creating quiet sacred space for you to rest. For some women this may feel like an unwarranted luxury that they cannot afford themselves. However, retreat time does not need to be three solid days alone. Of course if you can create this then fantastic, but for many of us we need to find creative ways to lessen our daily activities and finding means to honour ourselves. We can create ways of taking ourselves out of the busy routines of everyday life and with practice those around will grow more accustomed to our need for retreat. After all, a well nurtured mother is able to hold her family with more grace and ease than someone tired and unhappy without time for refueling and rest. Having a relaxing bath by candle light or ensuring the freezer is stocked with dinner for a few nights are great ways to create a bit of space or ease. Ensuring that you don’t schedule in big events or parties is another good idea in honouring your need to be less social.

Some women choose to create a bleeding necklace to wear or make a mooonstick as an expression of their prayers for the coming cycle. Wearing red or choosing special jewellery to wear can also let others know that this is your bleeding time. Paying particular attention to your dreams and setting an intention to remember them is another great way to tap into your night time wisdom. Drawing, crafting, journaling or meditating are also other great ways to slow down and reflect. Some women choose their bleeding time to rearrange their altar or read that great novel they have been saving! It is a time to go slowly and be gentle with yourself. By quietening we open ourselves to hear the messages of our body, our heart and our spirit. Want to read more….

ebook

 

barAbout the authors:

Jane Hardwicke Collings is amother, grandmother and an independent midwife, teacher, writer and menstrual educator. She gives workshops in Australia and internationally on mother and daughter preparation for menstruation, the spiritual practice of menstruation, and the sacred and shamanic dimensions of pregnancy and birth. Jane founded and runs The School of Shamanic Womancraft, formerly The School of Shamanic Midwifery, which focuses on preparing women to practice and teach conscious rites of passage, awareness of cycles (Earth, lunar, life and menstrual cycles), and the mind/body/spirit connection. www.schoolofshamanicmidwifery.com. Jane is the author of Ten Moons, the Inner Journey of Pregnancy, Thirteen Moons, How to chart your menstrual cycle (handbook and journal), Spinning Wheels (a guide to the cycles), and Becoming a Woman (a guide for girls approaching menstruation). www.moonsong.com.au

Susan Stark is a home birth Mother of four children, a Shamanic Guide, a practitioner and teacher of the Women’s Mysteries and Social Worker.  Susan is passionately committed to supporting women on their journeys of re-membering and transformation.  Susan currently offers circles and workshops in her own community and practices as a Counsellor working with children and young people.  Susan shares a deep connection to the Earth as Mother and Healer and honours every person’s unique journey to connection and wholeness.
Contact Susan: earthspiral@rocketmail.com

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How to Talk to your Daughter about Her Body?

By Nati Lucero

How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.

Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.

If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:

“You look so healthy!” is a great one.

Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”

“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”

Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.

Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.

Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.

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Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.

Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.

Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.

Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.

Teach your daughter how to cook kale.

Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.

Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.

Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.

Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.

Reproduced with permission from Namaluc

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Filed under coming of age, daughter, growing up, Guest Blogger, menstruation, mother, motherhood, parenting, transition